Ezra and Rowan, my journey with my identical twin boys

I learnt I was pregnant with identical (MCDA) twins at a private 8 week scan, this was my first pregnancy and we were thrilled, it truly felt like a dream come true!

At my 12 week NHS scan a high nuchal was found on twin 2 but not twin 1, I was taken to King’s College Fetal Medicine Research Institute in London the next day to see Professor Kypros Nicolaides for a CVS procedure. The results of this found no foetal abnormalities despite my routine blood tests coming back as a high chance of Edwards Syndrome, Patau Syndrome or Downs Syndrome and discussions were held around a termination for medical reasons/selective reduction of twin 2. Professor Nicolaides couldn’t work out why only twin 2 had a high nuchal and twin 1 didn’t given they share the same placenta and would have the same genetic makeup, he said to “wait and see”, explaining “miracles happen” and the nuchal may fall back into a normal range. He was right, my 14 week scan showed the nuchal for twin 2 had returned to normal.

This was my only positive scan, the one I was desperate for, wanting a picture of my babies and being able to tell the world I was expecting two perfect babies but we decided to keep it private due to being aware of the risks that can still happen in an MCDA pregnancy.

At my 16 week scan twin 1 was then diagnosed with SUIGR (selective intrauterine growth restriction) being 45% smaller than twin 2, despite twin 1 initially being the stronger twin. We also learnt that twin 1 was the donor twin and twin 2 the recipient twin. I again found myself at Kings with the professor, this time we discussed laser ablation surgery with the understanding if I didn’t have the surgery my sons would likely be very poorly and very premature – there was a high risk of TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndrome) and twin 1 was still significantly smaller. Twin 1 being the donor twin was giving everything to keep twin 2 safe, however he was becoming sick and weak, and he was small. We proceeded with the laser surgery, I had to give both my boys the best chance of survival. We named our boys at this stage, Ezra being our donor twin and Rowan being our recipient twin.

A week after the laser surgery Ezra sadly lost his heartbeat and we were heartbroken, our darling boy was giving everything to help Rowan. A silent ultrasound is something no one should ever go through, it felt like hours waiting for Rowan to be scanned, thankfully his heart beat was strong meaning the laser surgery had saved him. A week after this at 19 weeks pregnant my waters broke (PPROM) initially from Ezra’s sack however at a follow up scan it showed limited amniotic fluid around Rowan also. The pregnancy wasn’t viable so there was limited support I could access, I was told “nothing can be done” and if I go into labour the baby won’t be resuscitated until 24 weeks. We were petrified but hung on to getting Rowan to viability. I had a foetal echo at GOSH (procedure after the laser surgery) and GOSH confirmed that TTTS was starting, and they were confident we had the laser ablation surgery at the right time to prevent Rowan also becoming sick. At 27 weeks and 4 days my boys were delivered by emergency caesarian as the team were unable to get a consistent heartbeat of Rowan.

My perfect boys were born minutes apart on 22.10.2023, Ezra born sleeping peacefully and Rowan born fighting for his life. We have comfort in that all Ezra knew was love, he heard our voices, he heard us make plans for his life, he would never have experienced pain. Every second of his growing life was spent with his twin and he was never alone. After a 92 day NICU stay and a very rocky journey we brought Rowan home 5 days after his due date. Rowan is perfect and the most magical and special little boy who has just celebrated his first birthday.

I never knew that your heart could be broken and be healing at the same time, and I never knew I would be able to manage this journey but we have made it, albeit we are still on the journey as the NICU experience doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. I am eternally grateful to the support from my local hospital who have saved Rowan’s life and treated Ezra with such respect and kindness and kept his memory alive through the NICU experience.

Professor Kypros is the most incredible man who has created life saving procedures and saved thousands of lives in the multiple pregnancy community. I am so grateful to him and his team, the surgery meant I could see both my boys in utero through a telescope during the laser surgery, and I saw both my boys kicking away and healthy. The NICU team who cared for Rowan truly are angels on this earth, they loved him like he was their own and treated us with such dignity, celebrated every success and comforted us in the darker times. I truly am in awe of the miracles the NICU perform every day, they always prescribed us hope and we wouldn’t have Rowan here now without them and the care they gave him. The NICU journey hasn’t ended despite leaving the hospital, Rowan has a number of appointments and follow ups and he is still very vulnerable due to his prematurity and development of his lungs.

Rowan however is the most happy, bravest and content little boy who is always smiling and he is doing every single thing he should be doing and more! I am a mother to two perfect boys and I know our darling Ezra will guide and protect Rowan through his precious life. I am so grateful to be home cuddling my surviving boy and he will always know of those who did everything to keep him alive, especially his twin.