My Identical Twin Boys – TTTS and IUGR.

My name is Claire Gee, and I am a volunteer with Footprints and a trained counsellor specialising in child loss, fertility, pregnancy, and pregnancy after loss.

My journey into this work began in 2015 when I fell pregnant with my identical twin boys, Barney and Benny—a dream come true after years of miscarriages and fertility treatment. The boys were born prematurely at 29 weeks and 5 days after I was admitted to hospital with TTTS and IUGR. Despite everything, both boys were born in good condition, and for the first few days, we were able to care for them and spend precious time together.

On day six, my world fell apart when Barney suddenly deteriorated and died in my arms. The pain was unlike anything I had ever known. My heart shattered, and I felt utterly numb, going through the motions on autopilot. I vividly remember being told by professionals to “be strong for Benny,” and while I did my best, I felt completely unsupported and lost in my grief.

When Benny was strong enough to come home, it was a bittersweet time. I was overjoyed to have him with us but also deeply grieving Barney. I struggled with my emotions and found myself searching for ways to ensure that no other parents had to face this kind of loss alone.

That’s when I found Sharon, who became a guiding light in my darkest days. She listened, understood, and encouraged me to channel my experiences into supporting others. I began volunteering as a befriender, and this gave me the confidence to start a four-year journey to become a qualified counsellor. My studies became a way to honour Barney’s memory.

Now, nearly ten years on, my boys are approaching their 10th birthday. Benny was diagnosed with learning disabilities, autism, and is non-verbal, just before his 3rd birthday, which has brought its own unique challenges and moments of grief. These experiences have further shaped my understanding of parenting and the many layers of grief and love.

Today, I work as a qualified counsellor offering online support to parents and couples navigating the heartbreak of child loss, including stillbirth, neonatal death, miscarriage, TFMR, pregnancy after loss, and fertility challenges. I work in a person-centred way shaping each session to be individual, I am passionate about my work and feel deeply privileged to hold space for others, helping them to process their grief and trauma and find hope amidst the pain.

Barney’s short but beautiful life continues to inspire everything I do. It is because of him that I am able to offer compassion, understanding, and connection to those who need it most.

If you would like to learn more about the work, I do please visit my website: cayacounselling.co.uk

Alternatively, you can contact me for an informal chat at hello@cayacounselling.co.uk